I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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