i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This house was built for laser tag.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize