Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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