if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
