I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You ruined the universe
Randomize
