Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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