i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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