is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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