She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
