i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
