So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How's work?
Spinning.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
