You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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