lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
