I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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