When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
