you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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