sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
