You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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