so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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