Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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