I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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