I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
