If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
