I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
