Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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