Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize