i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
