so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
