It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
