Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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