Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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