i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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