ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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