i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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