Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
