is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
