either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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