Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
