dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
