He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
