we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
