What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
