That's when you crack a 10am beer
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
