so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize