In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she looked like the before picture.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize