Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
