she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
