Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
