Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize