Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
