i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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