I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize