that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
