I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
