gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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