I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
