i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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