Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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