I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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