I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
